Sunday, March 20, 2005

that waiting place

I don't like haikus or I just don't get them. It isn't the first poetic form I don't get.

"Give the reader a brand new experience of a known situation."
"No similes or metaphor"
"Use a kigo - word that indicates a seasonal setting"
"In Japan, haikus are valued for their lightness, their simplicity, their openness, their depth"

I struggle with these Haiku things.

Sick on a journey:
Over parched fields
Dreams wander on.

Waterjar cracks:
I lie awake
This icy night.


The technique of cutting

The cutting divides the Haiku into two parts, with a certain imaginative distance between the two sections, but the two sections must remain, to a degree, independent of each other. Both sections must enrich the understanding of the other.
To make this cutting in english, either the first or the second line ends normally with a colon, long dash or ellipsis.

A sudden shower falls -
and naked I am riding
on a naked horse!


Silence--a strangled
Telephone has forgotten
That it should ring

Michael R. Collings

the morning paper
harbinger of good and ill
- - I step over it

Dave McCroskey

These last few are better - 'and naked I am riding on a naked horse' - cool
OK, I can do it, I can write a haiku

Nature defines me:
broad, flat, entwined and beachless -
living without edge.

I learned your rage and
ways described by bone and cheek
soft-petaled bruising.

Jude Goodwin

OK, I cheated. I wrote those a year ago, before I knew about the KIGO thing, and other stuff.

I have to try harder harder! (I want to win a bike)


tailgate down
dog leaping and crazy
bike awaits


forsaken pew
a greening path
turning wheels and spring


A green door warming
in the early sun -
behind it waits a bike


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